You Are Worthy: The Reality of Domestic Violence

As we approach the holiday season head on, I had planned to make a blog post about thankfulness and gratitude. However, supporting local women and families these past few weeks have steered me in a different direction – domestic violence.

Many of us are making our holiday grocery lists and contemplating whether to splurge and put that Christmas tree up early. Unbeknownst to us, a woman down the road is carefully crafting an escape plan in her head. She is slowly gathering spare cash in the pockets of dirty jeans and coins in the floorboard of the car. She is slowly adding a few sets of clothes for her children that will not be missed. She adds them to her escape bag. She slowly waits for the perfect time when he will be gone and she can leave.

The reality of the holiday season is that many families in our area are walking on eggshells in their very home. While we laugh and enjoy time with our loved ones and extended family, many are trying to survive and not make their abuser angry. They try to keep everything perfect in the home, the kids quiet, and the dinner warm.

According to the National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN):

Although there has been substantial progress in reducing domestic violence, an average of 20 people are physically abused by intimate partners every minute. This equates to more than 10 million abuse victims annually. 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been physically abused by an intimate partner, and 1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men have been severely physically abused by an intimate partner. Millions of Americans live in daily, silent fear within their own homes. In addition, every year millions of children are exposed to domestic violence. Domestic violence incidents affect every person within a home and can have long-lasting negative effects on children's emotional well-being, and social and academic functioning. [1]

It has also been noted that domestic violence commonly increases during the holiday season, especially around New Years Eve. There are several reasons for this. Some factors may include:

• Financial stress
• Family gatherings
• Emotional & psychological factors
• Increased alcohol consumption
• Limited support services during holiday season [2]

When domestic violence— including but not limited to physical, sexual, emotional and financial abuse – is present in the home, it affects the whole family. This includes the children. NCTSN explains:

When children experience a traumatic event, the entire family is affected. Often, family members have different experiences around the event and different emotional responses to the traumatic event. Recognizing each other’s experience of the event, and helping each other cope with possible feelings of fear, helplessness, anger, or even guilt in not being able to protect children from a traumatic experience, is an important component of a family’s emotional recovery. [3]

As we approach this holiday season, let us be thankful but also aware of what families in our very own community may be facing.

If you are reading this and find yourself in a similar situation, I want you to know that you are not alone. I want you to know that you are worthy of love, protection, and stability. Your children deserve a safe place to call home. If domestic violence is written in your story, it doesn’t have to stay there. I want you to choose life for yourself and your family. Abusers rarely change. It almost always gets worse.

Life Line Sampson is here to support you if you are pregnant, have small children, and are in need of material assistance and local resources.

Please visit the resources below for more information about domestic violence or reach out to our local domestic violence resource/shelter:

U Care, Inc.- located in Clinton, NC

https://www.ucarenc.org/

• Business Hotline - 910-596-0931 (24/7)
• Toll Free - 888-229-3320

[1] https://www.nctsn.org/resources/public-awareness/national-domestic-violence-awareness-month

[2] https://www.cawc.org/news/why-domestic-violence-increases-during-the-holiday-season/

[3] https://www.nctsn.org/sites/default/files/resources//age_related_reactions_to_traumatic_events.pdf